Chelsea Handler Cancels Several Shows of Comedy Tour After Suffering Hospital Scare

( Last Friday, leftist Chelsea Handler was forced to cancel two stops on her “Vaccinated and Horny” comedy tour after suffering what she called a “scare at the hospital.”

The most shocking part of this story is learning that Chelsea Handler is a comedian who is doing a comedy tour.

Who knew?

Typically, comedy tours are done by people who are funny.

Unless somebody finds stripping naked at the drop of a hat and screeching about Republicans a laugh riot, why would anybody pay money to watch Chelsea Handler in the icky flesh?

Handler filmed herself from her hospital bed and posted the video to her Instagram Stories in which she apologized for having to cancel her shows in Portland and Eugene, Oregon. But she “had a scare at the hospital.”

The vaccinated and allegedly horny Chandler explained that she didn’t have COVID.

Whew! We were all worried!

Okay, no we weren’t.

She told the people foolish enough to buy tickets to her two Oregon shows that she was sorry that she had to cancel and she would “see you all when I see you.”

In a formal statement announcing the cancellations, Handler said she looked forward “to giving you a spectacular show in the near future.”

“A spectacular show?” Well, that’s one future that will never happen.

Her probably-not-spectacular shows in Portland and Eugene have been rescheduled for early March.